What's up with this election?

The older I get the more attention I pay to the government and politics. This upcoming election seems to be a pivotal breaking point in America's history. Not only because there is a bi-racial man running as the elected candidate on a major party ticket, or that a woman is in line to be the VP if her candidate is elected President, but that for the first time in many years the United States is no longer the richest nor the strongest nation in the world. Republicans and Democrats alike can agree that for the past eight years this country has lost it's worth in the eyes of it's citizens and other on lookers around the world. For the first time, the American dollar has less value than many other countries around the world. For the first time, Americans are factoring in gas as a part of their household budget. I don't know about you but I cringe every time I see that $60.00 price tag when I go to the gas station every Thursday. Electing this leader could be the key to get our country back on track. This race isn't about parties but should be about which candidate has your best interest at heart. It shouldn't be about race or gender but about which candidate has the desire, will and strength to return America to it's high standards and regards. This race should be more important than having several generations of Republicans or Democrats in your family. For some of the smartest people in the world, America seems to be really green when it comes to electing qualified individuals in office to run this country. Even the scarecrow desired a brain to make wise decisions only to find out that he'd already had a brain but just needed the confidence to use it. Come on people take a look at the issues...identify what is important in your life and vote for that candidate. Disregard the party lines and vote for the person that is geared toward restoring this country to its original grandeur. Look beyond the media hype and rhetoric and make a wise decision because the decision you make will either make or break this country.

The Law of Attraction

These last few weeks have been really interesting. Since I have been knee deep in book stuff, my 1st love--“Relationships” has had to take a back seat. Although, I have plans for a 3rd book which will be about the roller coaster ride called “Single Life” which is the reason for this blog today.

I’ve had three close girlfriends meet some really nice guys. All three lovely ladies are what we call “ready for THE relationship" but in the midst of meeting these “nice” guys all ladies were missing the “IT FACTOR”. This got me to thinking about the law of attraction. I wondered how is it that a good guy can meet a good girl but pass up the relationship because the spark is missing, especially when each individual is ready to settle down.

I was flipping through the TV while on commercial break from the Olympics and I ran across the movie “Something New”. The beautiful woman in the movie had a hard time giving in to a good relationship and when she finally let her guard down to let the man in, the first mistake he made she hightailed it for the hills. Shortly thereafter, she met another great guy but the spark was not there so she gave in to her heart and back-tracked to the 1st guy. Thank goodness it was a movie with a happy ending because he was still open to the possibility of a relationship. Both women and men are some complicated creatures. Just when you think you’ve got them figured out, they throw a monkey wrench in the deal and all bets are off!

So is this attraction thing so important that we pass up a good thing? For many it is…but what happens when you meet that person you know you aren’t suppose to be with but the attraction is there? You push so hard to make the relationship work when you know the relationship is wrong. Either he or she isn’t treating you right, giving you the time and attention you deserve, not ready for a commitment when you know that you are or any of those red flags that tell you to move on. Is the law of attraction so important that we compromise our desire to be loved the way we deserve to just to be with someone that makes our boat float?

I certainly understand not wanting to wake up next to someone that I am not attracted to but I wonder if we cut the ties too soon because attraction can come in many different facets. There are many traits such as a beautiful personality, sense of humor, adventurous, interesting, cultured, confidence, style, and many other traits that don’t have anything to do with physical attributes. So, before you throw in the towel on that person that you don’t feel the immediate draw too take a look deeper into who the person is, you never know they could blossom like a swan and very well be the person for you.

Seize the Opportunity

I am a big believer that God gives us opportunities but it is up to us to take advantage of the door or window that God so graciously opened. This past weekend I went to the 49th Delta Convention in Orlando. I brought several books with me with hopes of selling a few. I honestly was a little disappointed because books sales weren’t going as I thought. It was really busy and the venue was very crowded, but beyond the clouds there was sunshine. While sitting next to a fellow sorority sister during the step show, she encouraged me to take a book to the host who is also a comedian on BET. Well I got my courage up and took a book to her and she in turn gave me a shout out in front of at least 5000 women!!! The very next day I was able to shimmy myself up to Sheryl Lee Ralph, Suzzanne Douglass and Michael Eric Dyson to give them books as well. I had to step out of my comfort zone and take advantage of the opportunity that God created for me. Now, I have no idea if anything will come of these efforts (I pray it will) but this experience taught me to believe in myself, my gifts and my God! And sometimes he gives us confirmation of us walking in the path that he has set for us…Suzzanne Douglas actually told me that she could see the book as a movie! Guess what? I originally wrote the story as a play!!! God has big things in store for me…I know he does! So keep believing in your dreams because what he has for you is for you!

The Drop Zone

Often I wonder about God’s will and how His will lines up with our lives. He gave us the ability to make choices but if we choose incorrectly then our wills are not lined up with His. I had to grow to understand that God knows what our choices will be even before we make them but just because he knows them doesn’t mean he made us make that decision. He gave us a little thing called “Free Will”. He didn’t create us to be robots but individuals who freely praise and seek Him.

When our choices are line up with His will then we are where my pastor calls “The Drop Zone”. In the bible God used the ravens to feed his servant (1Kings17; 4). Do you know what kind of bird the raven is? He is not one known to share his food but when God uses someone (and we are obedient to his will…thus inline with His will) it doesn’t matter what their tendencies are He can take the lowliness creature (the most unlikely person) and use them to achieve the goal of blessing you! Now isn’t that amazing…even our enemies become our foot stools! The “Drop Zone” is that special place where God drop our blessings on us. The place were He can open up the windows of heaven and the blessing can flow freely down on us. Take a look at your life and determine if you are indeed in the “drop zone”. Are you in a relationship that is not flourishing? If so you aren’t in the drop zone. Your mate could be around the corner but because you continue to force something that obviously is not fitting you miss your blessing…or delay them. Are you at a job were you don’t feel fulfilled? If so you may not be in the drop zone. That promotion or peace of mind could be right around the corner but because you are afraid to step out on faith you are missing your blessing. If you aren’t in that divine place were the blessings He has stored for can fall on you freely then as the old people say you could be “blocking your blessings”. You move into your drop zone! Don’t let the ravens pass you by!

A Relationship Tune Up

When men use analogies many times they relate everything to cars. As women we may not understand that all the time but in some cases the car analogy works! Every few months you take your care in for a regular tune up, whether it is an oil change, rotating tires, changing break pads or air filters. If you don't do these simple maintenance tasks the cars longevity is compromised. If not regular maintenance you at least put gas in your car once or twice a week (even if it does cost you $4.00 a galloon). If you don't get gas then guess what? Your car won’t run.

I recently learned relationships need tune ups and or full ups just as often as a car does. Many times we get bogged down with our daily lives and the one person we are supposed to love unconditionally is put on the back burner. I never really understood what it meant for married couples to break up after many years of marriage because they “just grew apart”. I always wondered what it means to “grow apart”. After being married several years I now understand how easy it can be to "grow apart". But you don't have to let this happen...that's were "Tune Ups" come in place. Relationships need daily and monthly servicing just as your cars do. It’s very easy to let your lives grow in different directions. It’s very easy for you to take the one that is suppose to mean the most to you for granted. If you don’t handle this delicate relationship with care then as a car does without gas your relationship will stop running.

So here are a few tips to keep your relationship oiled up and running smooth:

Daily care:
Gas up your relationship: Say I love you daily. Stop for a kiss on the cheek, a wink of the eye, a simple compliment, take on your partners tasks for the day, go on a date, and stay up late talking, laugh with and at each other and most of all pray together…simple things to “SHOW” you care.

Long term care (some of these things require planning):

Tune up your relationship: Read a relationship book together (ex: The 5 Love Languages, Power of a Praying wife/Husband, Men are from Mars Women are from Venus)… attend a relationship conference, or plan a get away…with just the two of you. Remember a relationship is an active viable engine that needs a tune up every once in a while…pay attention to yours and don’t let it die!

Friends

Today I am hosting my version of Oprah's "Legends Ball". Unfortunately I won’t be giving away diamonds and John Legend won’t be serenading us but it will be special nonetheless. The legends in my life aren't ones you will see on television or on a magazine cover but the individuals I call "friends". About 8 months ago I had knee surgery. This was no walk-in-the-park knee surgery. For 5-months after the surgery I was unable to walk or drive. It was debilitating because I am known as a "busy bee". This was the hardest thing that I have had to experience in my life and trust me I have experience some things. God used this time to teach me to lean and depend on others...this is were my true friends came in. They were there cooking dinner, bringing food for me and my family, calling to check on me, coming by just to visit and most of all having unconditional love. The surprising thing is people I thought were close to me weren't there for me...people that I had just met within months came to my aide with no questions...it was amazing! Today looking back I feel so blessed and today I want to honor these individuals. Recently I saw the highly acclaimed movie “Sex and the City” this movie reminded me of what friends are and how they stand by your side thick or thin, good or bad…happy or sad! So if you have individuals in your life that meet the definition of “true friends” honor them in a special way…let them know how they have impacted your life. True friends are rare so if you have them in your life you are blessed!

New Paper Article

I am excited to write that the1st news paper article about me and the book was published today in the DFW Quick! It is an amazing feeling and I hope many books sells result from the article. The article took a spin on the book...it addressed the impact on weight on the single life. It was very interesting to talk about weight issues and insecurities from the single life prespective. I think if you aren't confident in who you are as a person whether a size zero or sixteen your dating life can be impacted negatively. The first step in being successful in anything you do is feeling confident in who you are as a person...on the inside and the outside. The persona you give off is like honey you can either attract bee's that will cutivate you and help you to grow or flies that will eat away everything until there is nothing left. So love yourself first and all that is good and intended for you will come your way!