“Soul Mates”?

I am not sure about the men out there but I know with women we grow up watching fairytales. From Cinderella to Snow White to Rapunzel heck even in Shrek there was that one person who was created especially for the princess and they live happily ever after. These individuals were soul mates. When I think of soul mates I think of two individuals created especially for each other. I imagine God creating each individual - their future - their paths crossing at some undisclosed time and place. They’d meet – learn each other – and somehow figure out that they were meant for each other – Their paths would line up with God’s design and they would live happily ever after.

But is that really reality?

As human beings functioning in this world we do make choices and our choices aren’t always in line with God’s. With the divorce rate being over 50% there is a lot of bad choices going on in the relationship department. We aren’t perfect and in a relationship two imperfect people are being brought together, so ultimately there will be struggles.

So because there will be problems does that mean there is no such thing as soul mates?
For me “No”! I believe the difference between a relationship that is truly designed and fashioned by God (soul mates) and one that isn’t is that both parties are in the relationship for the long haul. Their main interest and concern is pleasing the other person and achieving the role God designed for that relationship. These individuals become students of one another seeking to master the subject (or die trying). Does this mean the individuals will never hurt one another? No! Does this mean there will never be problems? No. This only means that each individual has determined that there is no other person on this earth for them. They’ve declared and believe they are indeed soul mates.

I think the idea of soul mates begun with the creation of man and woman. God laid the man to sleep and took a rib from his side to fashion a woman. This woman, Eve was made especially for Adam. God knowing Adam very well knew exactly what he would like. Every little detail and feature I am sure was pleasing to Adams eye and heart. I believe God has this in mind for everyone he called to have relationships. Knowing His children very well he knows exactly what we need and desire. But even in the 1st man and woman relationship there were problems. Chaos came from beauty and from that point on trouble has been at the door steps of every marriage and relationship thereafter.

In relationships there will be problems. I don’t know anyone in a perfect relationship. I thought I did but I know now there is no such thing. What I have learned is that some people are meant to be together therefore they put in the work to maintain and cultivate the relationship.

Sometimes when problems develop thoughts of “whether or not you are with the person you are meant to be with” arise. This is not uncommon. I once heard a comedian say men and serial killers have one thing in common… “the one that got away”. Women also have this in common with men and serial killers. But when I honestly think about it: The ex’s and missed opportunities creep up into our memory/minds during the low periods in our relationship. The “what if’s” and “the possibilities” weave their way into our brains, planting seeds of doubt. Honestly those thoughts can be very shallow because hard times, trouble, problems and or issues have no limitations. Those thoughts are nothing more than a fantasy to escape your reality, if you truly believe you are with your soul mate.

Just because you meet and marry your soul mate doesn’t mean that troubles won’t knock at your door. It doesn’t mean that there won’t be things that come along that test your relationship to the point that you think it may break. Being with your soul mate doesn’t mean that life will be perfect or easy. It only means that when these things do arise you will have some one in your corner to battle through it with you (even if they are the one that caused the pain). There is an old Prince song that says “will you run to me even if the somebody that hurt you is me”. In a soul mate relationship you do because the relationship is priority. We all have deal breakers in relationships. That one thing that we think we can not take. But if you are with your soul mate and you know it then you find the strength and the energy to work through it. You want to work through. So if you know in your heart of hearts that there is no one else on this earth for you know that you are with your soul mate and during the bad times have faith in knowing that all things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to his purpose.