Put a little honey on it…

Last weekend was Mother’s Day. All good mothers out there know and fully understand being a good mother is a tough job but one of the most fulfilling and rewarding jobs in the world. My Mother’s Day was one of the best that I’ve ever had, although it didn’t start out quite the way I wanted it to (the key words in that sentence are: “the way I WANTED it too”). I’ll explain what this has to do with honey further down in the blog.

For you bible scholars, the bible mentions honey about 61 times. The Promise Land was described as being full of milk and honey. God words are also described as being like sweet honey and finally in the Songs of Solomon it talks about a woman and her words being like honey. After reading this I thought this honey must be some great stuff and as the saying goes: You catch more flies with honey… so I did a little research. Honey is smooth, naturally sweet and very fragrant. Honey is versatile it takes on the flavor of its environment. Whatever trees and /or flowers in the area that the bees feed on will flavor the honey with its essence. In biblical days honey was a commodity. Only the rich or well off had access to this priceless gift. Honey also is good for medicinal reasons such as allergies, antioxidants and vitamins. On the opposite spectrum, vinegar is bitter and although it adds flavor it’s taste can be very sour. Vinegar is often counter balanced with honey to add a sweet and sour taste to certain dishes. In order to taste sweet, vinegar has to age more than 8 years. The older vinegar gets the texture changes from flowing like water to being thick and syrupy similar to that of honey!

My words being sweet like honey is truly something I am working on. I’m sure anyone reading this blog can recall a discussion with someone where your word choice and/or tone either got you what you desired or had the opposite effect of an argument where no one walked away happy.

Now back to my Mother’s Day story. This Mother’s Day I had it in my head that I wanted to be woken up and showered with affection, admiration and love…I didn’t tell anyone this (of course) but this is what I wanted.

Mistake #1: Don’t expect anyone to read your mind.

My husband (knowing that I am not a morning person) let me sleep. When I woke up and found out what I imagined didn’t happen I told my husband my thoughts as well as reminded him of the time, thought and effort I put into planning for his special days.

Mistake #2: Never compare what you do with that of what your husband does. Trust me it’s worthless and you are setting yourself up for years of resentment. He is not you and no matter how many times you remind him he will never perform a task the way you do.

After I finished getting dressed for church I came down the stairs to hear a beautiful song projecting from a new laptop that my husband purchased. Showing on the computer was a beautiful Power Point presentation with pictures of my daughter and I. He sweetly handed me a delicious smoothie and said “Happy Mother’s Day”. I cried and felt GUILTY. You see, I regretted my words from earlier! They were not sweet like honey!

When we got married my Aunt with her great wisdom gave us the best advice: “Be sweet to each other”. She is a bible reading and bible toting individual and she knows the value of honey! I on the other hand am still learning. After almost 10 years of marriage and many mistakes and blunders later (as you can see I am still adding to that list…smile), today I better understand what her advice truly means. When you love without hesitation, preconceived notions, suspicions, fear and baggage, you are free to be sweet as honey.

The words you choose can be sweet even if the situation is not going the way you desired. The words and approach you choose in a situation can be sweet and welcoming, calming and nurturing and most of all not demeaning. When you love with trust then you can be sweet as honey. Love should be pure and not tainted with the past, or with comparison. To be sweet you have to trust your partner with your feelings, you have to trust that your partner has your best interest at hand. You have to know and understand that that individual loves you in the best way that he or she can -- even if it’s different from the way you love. So if you truly desire to be sweet….put a little honey on it!