Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Self Worth

I haven’t blogged in months. Outside of being busy and unmotivated to write I have no real excuses. But today as I was on my way to the lunch room I thought about my little girl. This morning when I finished getting her ready she looked in the mirror with the utmost approval and smiled. She knew she looked beautiful. As I walked to the lunch room I recalled when I was younger and I tried to remember had my mother ever looked at me and told me that I was beautiful, special or worthy? Many times she looked upon me with approval but honestly I can’t recall the words. I decided at that moment that I want my daugther to recall the words.

I think about our youth mainly our young women. I think about what they see on TV and in the magazines…what the world categorizes as beautiful. I think about young girls that I know who have little to no self confidence. Because they are lacking in this area the first male that pays them any attention they jump to please, satisfy and be anything he desires her to be (and in these days that boy can also be a girl…let’s be real). These leaps and bounds are all done in efforts to “feel” the confidence, love and approval that they don’t have within. These unsure girls grow up to be unsure women. These women become the woman in the relationship bending over backwards trying to please the man they are with all the while not being treated as the worthy woman they are….the daughters of the King.

I believe confidence starts when you are young, parent’s buiId this foundation. Most people see a cute baby and say how cute they are. But how often does that reinforcement occur into adolences and the teenage years? I am not saying we won’t go through that awkward period in life but instilling self love in is something that is so deep even if there is doubt you won’t waiver. You won’t look for that approval from someone else. The foundation blocks have been built and secure. It is important for our girls to know they are worth more than a dinner, or movie. Their bodies are prized possessions and should not be just giving to the first male that pays you a little attention. God sent his Son who gave his life for you. This says you are worth a lot more than a few dollars or a really good mack line. I think as parents we should take the time (especially in this day and age with so much technology) to instill in our girls their self worth. I want my daughter to look in the mirror when she is 16 and see her unique beauty as she did this morning at the age of four. I make it a point to say she is beautiful, not just on the outside but on the inside. I tell her that her beauty is not just physical but also has to do with the way she treats others and allows herself to be treated. I don’t want her to compare herself to others so I make sure she knows that God created everyone and that he made us all different but beautiful in our own special way.

So parents never stop complimenting your children. Never stop encouraging them and investing in them. What you put in them will help to determine what they become in society when they are adults. I tell my husband to take our daughters out on dates because they should know how they should be treated. They should know even if you are a strong independent woman chivalry is not dead. Many individuals often say a young male child needs a male figure in their lives. That is very true but it is also true that a female child also needs a good strong male role model. They are learning from the relationships that their mother’s have with men. They are watching how you are being treated and will use those examples to pick their mates in the future. Boys are also watching, determining how they should treat their mates in the future. Some children are able to transcend their environment but it takes a STRONG individual to do that. For the most part we are a product of our environment.

Children are given to us as blessings. Innocent gifts that we help to mold into adults. They deserve the best shot at life that we can offer them. So as parents use the tools that you have to ensure that your little one becomes all he or she can be. Ensure that our girls and boys are proud and confident in who they are and who’s they are. Finally encourage, compliment and praise your children. Don’t let it stop because they grow up. Each nugget of praise is a building block to a well balanced child who will become a vital resource to their community!