Women and communication…can’t have one without the other!

I haven’t blogged in a really long time. Not because I haven’t wanted to, and not because I haven’t had a lot to share but because I’ve just been lazy with craving out time to do one of the things I enjoy the most: Write! But, last night a subject came to mind and I couldn’t rest without sharing this insight into a woman’s heart: Woman and communication…can’t have the one without the other!

Most experts note that women talk on average way more than men. Doesn’t mean that men don’t have anything to say just means that women say it more often. A woman builds her relationships on the ability to communicate. I would even go further to say that communication is a fundamental building block to the foundation of all of the relationships a woman has.

When a woman is mad at her man (or even friend) after the initial argument and if the problem lingers she stop speaking to them. She removes the most valuable thing to her from the relationship…communication: Woman call this quiet time the “silent treatment”. Funny thing is for most men the silent treatment means “peace and quiet”. Some men are happy that the arguing has stopped even if the problem hasn’t been solved. Those that aren’t observers in their relationship may not even notice the silence and or bask in the opportunity to be left alone. But, they will notice the absence of sex. If they didn’t notice the silence or care that the silent treatment had been enacted they will notice that the sex has been removed. To some that is the 1st sign that “Houston we (still) have a problem”. Here’s a tip: For women sex and communication are interrelated! Sex to a woman is a form of communication...can't have one without the other.

If the foundation of communication is not strong a woman feel emotionally starved. For a woman in a relationship communication is a form of intimacy even when no words are being spoken. It’s the time you get to know each other and learn intimate details about the interworkings of the heart. I’ve found that you can never completely know a person because we are ever changing, which means there should always be something to talk about. The days should never all be the same (and if they are you need to spice them up…but that’s another blog).

In a relationship with good communication, partners look forward to speaking to each other even if the conversation is a tough one. Most couples with good communication skills have them because they trust each other with their transparencies. They believe they are playing on the same team and the benefits of working through the issues will benefit them as a whole and not just one party. No one ever walks away feeling like a loser. There may be sacrifice but only because it's best for the relationship. Good communicators also know that if a problem is not solved or an agreement met it will return…another day…same subject. Finally, wise communicators know that their ability to interact with each other easily and unselfishly benefits them in many areas of their relationship.

I mentioned early when a woman is starved of a strong communication foundation in her relationship other things begin to lag. Because communication is tied to intimacy the love life will eventually fall off. Why, because most women relate sex to bonding and connecting. Men you may be surprised to know that most women aren't holding out because she is retaliating. Sex is that unspoken form of communication. When verbal communication breaks down so does physical communciation. Love making to a women is the ability to please your partner without spoken words. For most women it is hard and in some cases literally impossible to have one with out the other. Women that have had the pleasure of knowing the full picture of the art of good communication through love making usually perfer not going back to the mere physical aspect of sex. Intimacy is deeper than sex and provides a level of fulfillment for both the physical, verbal and the spiritual being.

With that being said it would be advantageous to cultivate the communication in your relationships. A person (a male) once told me that relationships are like rose bushes. If you don’t cultivate the bush the thrones will choke (starve) the budding of beautiful flowers. Cultivation is communication. This is the same for diamonds. For a diamond to become a diamond it has to be pulled from the coal, put in the fire, the access is chipped away and then you have the finished product. But it doesn’t stop there even with a beautiful diamond to maintain it brilliance it has to be cleaned, polished and shined. Good relationships need maintenance as well. It should be a priority in any relationship that has meaning. Note I didn’t call it "work" because if you truly value a relationship it isn’t work at all it’s a labor of love. So open up the lines of communication in your relationships and see them flourish!